Lover After Me
by Jade Cade
Summary: A heart once broken, can it ever mend? Or will life get in the way? Really good in my opinion, please read.
1. Default Chapter

Lover After Me

chapter 1

Jade- Well, this darn little idea won't leave me alone so I'm going to do something about it.

Ryou- Please note that these feelings are not her own but only come from somewhere deep inside her messed up head.

Bakura- And she is totally lying if she says she is normal.

Jade- I had a pixie stick and jelly beans for breakfast today. That is totally normal for a teenager, ne?

Ryou & Bakura- Ano, not really..

XOXOX

_Here I go again I promised myself_

_I wouldn't think of you today _

_It's been seven months and counting _

_You've moved on_

_I still feel exactly the same_

_It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name_

_Like photographs and memories of love_

_Steel and granite reminders_

_The city calls your name and I can't move on_

I slowly lower the cold, softly shimmering blade to my arm, a grim smile across my face. Applying a steady amount of pressure, I draw lazy patterns into my skin. Watching the crimson, life-giving liquid pool around the blade amuses me now, just as it has for the last seven months.

_He_ was my everything, I thought we'd be together forever. But he left me, saying it wasn't working out. I didn't understand but maybe I was just blind. Blind to the truth. Lost in my own little world.

Don't get me wrong, we're still friends, just not as close as before.

He called yesterday, but he has no idea how much I'm hurting. He thinks everything is back to how it was before... I try not to let anyone know. Except my yami, he knows. But not even he, knows I cut myself like this.

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is_

_You call another name_

_To your love _

_To your lover now_

_To your love _

_The lover after me_

As soon as I'm satisfied that I've bleed enough, I press down slightly on the self-inflicted wound with a clean damp towel. When the bleeding stops I pull my school jacket sleeves down over the tender, soon-to-be scars.

It's raining outside, so I decide to take a walk. Aren't I smart? I feel so alone though, walking down the nearly deserted street. I've now noticed just how dependent on him, I was.

_Am I all alone in this universe?_

_There's no love on these streets_

_I've given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway_

_So this is my new freedom_

_It's funny _

_I don't remember being chained_

_But nothing seems to make sense anymore_

After walking for a while longer, I check the time. Shoot, I was suppose to get dinner started and I was already ten minutes late.

_Without you I'm almost twenty minutes late_

Turning quickly, I slip and fall on the wet sidewalk. Figures I would land on my arm, I can already feel the warm liquid trying to seep through the thin jacket. I hear someone call my name and there _he_ is, standing in front of me. I take his offered hand and pull myself up, praying he won't notice the blood. Luckily, if he did see he passed it off as water.

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is_

_You call another name_

_To your love _

_To your lover now_

_To your love _

_The lover after me_

"Um, thanks." I say, turning to leave when he asks; "What are you doing out here anyway?"

I turn my head, giving him a small smile, "I could ask you the same thing.."

He laughs nervously, "Well, I guess we're even then."

I feel the pain in my arm and say goodbye quickly.

When I arrive home, I am greeted by my not-so-happy yami, wearing an apron? Instead of threatening me, like I was expecting, he sent me upstairs, mumbling something about not looking so well. I nod and slowly climb the stairs and enter my room.

I know I should check my arm and change clothes but I flop down on my bed anyway and in a second I'm being dragged under by heavy sleep...

_And time goes by so slowly_

_The nights are cold and lonely_

_I shouldn't be holding on_

_But I'm still holding on to you_

I awoke three hours later and decided to go for another walk. Did I mention it was still raining? Again, aren't I smart?

I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going, but I found myself standing on his porch, whispering his name over and over. The house is dark, I don't think anyone is home. That's good, I don't need to make a fool of myself anyone.

_Here I go again_

_I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today_

_But I'm standing at your doorway_

_I'm calling out your name because I can't move on_

I hop off the porch and start to leave when I hear laughing. It's his laughter and he's coming home. Someone is with him and as I duck behind a nearby bush I get a glance at who he's with.

_Ever since you've been gone_

_The lights go out the same_

_The only difference is _

_You call another name_

_To your love _

_To your lover now_

_To your love _

_The lover after me_

My heart shatters...

XOXOX

Jade- Hm, I left a lot to the the imagination, ne?

Bakura- She's giving you one hint as to who 'I' and 'he' are.. the narrator is a boy and 'he' is a hikari..

Ryou- And since she forgot at the beginning, Jade owns nothing except a bag of jelly beans and one and a fourth of chocolate bunnies. _The_ _Lover After Me _belongs to Savage Garden.

Jade- Please review, and if you have any guesses as to who 'I' and 'he' are, leave it in the review. All flames will be used to burn Joey and Marik, both of who I am mad at for various reasons..

Bakura- Ya know, I think she and Tea would make great friends someday.

Ryou- Jade would have to introduce Tea to the wonders of sugar though..

Bakura & Ryou- shudder


	2. Wounded

Lover After Me

chapter 2

Jade- Another update.. It's not my fault I swear.

Bakura- She claims Inspiration is flirting with her.

Jade- She is! But I don't like girls that way..

Ryou- Jade is still near broke and therefore she doesn't even own Tristan's left pinky. And that's the cheapest thing... The song used is _Wounded_ by Good Charlotte.

XOXOX

No, it can't be. He couldn't have left me for _him_. Yet I know my eyes do not decieve me.

I stumble back home after seeing that. My yami meets me at the door again, and I of course, greet him with a sheepish (and fake) smile.

_Lost and broken_

_Hopeless and lonely_

_Smiling on the outside_

_Hurt beneath my skin_

He just rolls his eyes at me and motions me upstairs. I think he's slightly annoyed that I would risk my health, not only once but twice, in one day by going out in the rain.

"I saw him today." I told him as he herded me into his room. Wonder why he's making me go in here.

_My eyes are fading_

_My soul is bleeding_

_I'll try to make it seem okay_

_But my faith is wearing thin_

He nodded, his eyes questioning. Why hasn't he spoke?

"He's moved on. How could he?" I choke out. He reaches out, grabbing my arms to hug me. I let a pained cry slip from my lips as I cradle my arm to my chest. He's looking at me like he got arrest for a crime he didn't even know existed.

"No, no. It's my fault, not yours." I whisper through my tears and choked sobs.

_So help me heal these wounds_

_They've been open for way too long_

_Help me fill this soul_

_Even though this is not your fault_

I fall upon my knees in front of him and completely breakdown. I can't do this, I can't tell him. Yet I feel as though I'm not in control of my body anymore. I haven't experienced that feeling for a while now.. It's almost a blissful, comforting feeling.

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I am. I take off the school jacket, careful of the blood that has dried. His eyes fall on the newest wound but the old scars don't escape his gaze either. The new one is bleeding again, and it drips upon his majestic woven rug. I can tell he's cursing in his ancient language.

_But I'm open_

_And I'm bleeding_

_All over your brand new rug_

_And I need someone to help me sew them up_

_I only wanted a magazine_

_I only wanted a movie screen_

_I only wanted the life I'd read about and dreamed_

"Why?" is his simple question, and he sounds pretty upset. At least I know he can still talk.

"You wouldn't understand. You've never felt real pain. This..." I motion to my scarred arms. "These, these are nothing. Real pain is similar to this but on your very heart and soul. The only difference is that real pain is not self-inflicted and they never fade."

He looks like a deer caught in a speeding trucks headlights now. I can't help it and I start to giggle. My giggles resound off the walls, sounding tense and distant. My yami's face twists in pain and he fades out of focus. I feel light-headed and I stare down at my bloodied arm, seeking truth in my blood. Suddenly, I'm seeing black instead of my favorite crimson.

_And now my mind is an open book_

_And now my heart is an open wound_

_And now my life is an open soul for all to see _

_But help me heal these wounds_

_They've been open for way to long_

_Help me fill this soul_

_Even though this is not your fault_

I wake up on my yami's bed and slowly sit up. He's there in the corner, rocking in my mother's old rocking chair. I miss my mom, why'd she have to leave?

"Are you okay, Little One?" he asks, standing and heading in my direction. I don't even think as I respond, "No, leave me alone," it was an automatic response, not thought required. He looked slightly taken aback and terribly tired. I bet he didn't get any sleep last night. He turns and leaves, though he knows he shouldn't.

_That I'm open and I'm bleeding_

_All over your brand new rug_

_And I need someone to help me_

_So you come along_

_I push you away_

_Then kick and scream for you to stay_

As the door shuts, I feel desperately lonely and I cry out for him. He opens the door again and gives me another questioning look.

I whimper to myself as I hug my knees to my chest. "Please, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. Everyone else has. Mother did and so did he..."

He kneels beside the bed and gently, so gently, strokes my hair. "Just go to sleep, Little One. That is the first step to your recovery." And so I do, as long as he is by my side.

_Cuz I need someone to help me_

_Oh I need someone to help me_

_To help me heal these wounds_

_They've been open for way too long_

_Help me fill this soul _

_Even though this is not your fault_

_That I'm open _

_And I'm bleeding_

_All over your brand new rug_

_And I need someone to help me sew them_

_I need someone to help me fill them_

_I need someone to help me close them up_

XOXOX

Jade- Still no guesses? I thought it'd be rather easy.

**Katia-chan**; you had a good idea, but see, I love Ry-chan so much I can't write about him being suicidal.. And thank you for the review!


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